After a long and, at times, turbulent negotiation with A.S.O, Manual for Speed is proud to announce the introduction of the Most Animal Classification Jersey11A panel of experts—Eddie Merkcx, Vance Larmstrong, Marco Pantani, Mario Cippiloini, Roger De Vlaeminck and Sean Kelly—will award points on the basis of style, swagger, and grit. The Most Animal Jersey will be awarded at the end of the race. into the Tour de France. However, because the race is absurdly, fantastically and inconceivably long, we will be issuing points weekly, not daily. What follows is the 2016 Tour de France Week One Most Animal points ceremony.22Most Animal art by Steve Hockett.
CHRIS FROOME: 7 pts
Turning the Tour de France into a momentary duathlon, Chris Froome got off his bike and performed the most difficult task known to humanity: running in road cycling shoes. For this, and this alone, he will go into the annals of cycling history.
HORSE & DUDE: 3 pts
JARLINSON PANTANO: 3 pts
As team IAM comes to an end, the Colombian rider has shown his worth, winning a stage and sprinting for the win the day after (plus going for the win this week in Stage 17!).
ALEX HOWES: 2 pts
Way to break away, Alex. Your animalness even inspired us to have a surprise fire sale in the MFS Shop—not many can claim to have done that.
THE CITY OF BERN: 1 pts
Aside from mountain stages, the Tour’s finishes are usually devoid of much excitement (as is often the case at the Giro). It took a trip to Switzerland for a tricky and interesting finish to finally give the Tour a much-needed boost in terms of exciting finishes.
VANDE VELDE’S BEEFY NOSE MOLE: 1 pts
Those unlucky enough to watch American coverage of the Tour have no doubt come face to face with Christian Vande Velde’s mole, which sits at the apex of his lower right nostril. Like something that could only be at home on Lemmy’s face (you know, the guy from Motorhead), Vande Velde’s mole has hung in there through thick and thin, and is to be commended for its longevity.
Week One Standings
- Chris Froome: 8 points
- Jarlinson Pantano: 7 points
- Adam Yates: 3 points
- Horse & Dude: 3 points
- Alex Howes: 2 points
- The City of Bern: 1 points
- Vande Velde’s Beefy Nose Mole: 1 points
- Oleg Tinkov: 1 points
Stinky Moments at the Tour de France
Memorializing the stinkiest moments in cycling history.
- Stage 7 of the Tour de France was marked by one of the more unusual events in recent race history. The official explanation of the event was the following: “A spectator came too close to the structure, and with his belt he caught it on the cable”. The result? The 1km to go inflatable collapsed, crashing into Adam Yates and thus marking the first truly unfortunate belt debacle in sport spectacle since the WWE/WWF designed its first championship belt.
- Stage 12 had yet another first for the Tour. Overwhelmed by crowds on Mt. Ventoux, a TV motorcycle was forced to stop, forcing Richie Porte, Bauke Mollema and Chris Froome to crash into it. Froome’s bike was totaled in the crash, and in a panic he began to run up the mountain. Amazingly—even though Froome was finally participating in their favorite activity—the fans who love to run (very) closely alongside him while he’s on his bicycle declined to join him.