2015 Brooklyn Red Hook Criterium
criteriums

2015 Brooklyn Red Hook Criterium

Saturday - April 25, 2015 - Red Hook, Brooklyn, NY

The 2015 Brooklyn Red Hook Criterium Instagram Olympics.

RACE BIBLE
Start Time
8:00 PM (Women), 9:00 PM (Men)
Length
18 laps/22.5 km (Women), 24 laps/30km (Men)
WEATHER
 Nice, downright amazing compared to last year.
IPre-Race/Qualifying
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#freethenipple
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Fishnet is commonly worn on the legs and arms by practitioners of goth and punk fashion, but is also commonly worn by the mainstream as a fashion statement. Generally considered to be a sexy garment, it may serve as a component of sexual fetishism. A more practical use of fishnet textiles is in high performance next-to-skin apparel used in cold weather outdoor sports, including hiking, hunting, fishing, skiing, and mountaineering. In this context, fishnet is usually knitted from fibers of polypropylene, merino wool, or nylon, and offers a number of benefits over traditional densely knitted base layer apparel.
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Gary Fong Lightspheres® are available for $59.95 (marked down from $64.75).
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John Kniesly, the owner of this Traps/Drakes shirt, has agreed to provide MFS with his top ten Master P/No Limit masterpieces.

John Kniesly’s NO LIMIT Top 10

 

All right dude, you asked for it. Backstory: I grew up in Indiana, which is kind of wedged between the East Coast, West Coast, and South as far as prevailing musical tastes and preferences go. No Limit stuff was HUGE when I was in high school, but honestly, I kind of hated it at the time… I was way more into Wu Tang and Nas and stuff like that. However, later on, I realized that a lot of of it was actually pretty fucking good. Here’s my top 10 No Limit songs (in no particular order):

 

  1. Choppa feat. Master P – Choppa Style: This track was gigantic even before No Limit released it…it sounded pretty much JUST like Back Dat Azz Up, and had an equally infectious hook. It’s a straightforward New Orleans bounce tune, and probably my favorite of the bunch.
  2. 504 Boyz – Wobble Wobble: Here’s another one that you would hear in everyone’s car after school got out, every day, for like 6 months. People would get reaaaal inappropriate to this one, which was pretty awesome (I’m talking about butts, guys). I’m pretty sure my sister actually blew one of my car speakers out playing this song. It’s so good – it uses the Showboys “Drag Rap/Triggerman” sample, which is pretty much the basis for bounce music, and also a great song on its own. Look it up. It rules.
  3. Master P feat. Silkk the Shocker, Mo B Dick, and Gambino – Bourbons and Cadillacs: Great summer track, with a super solid singalong hook and chill vibes throughout. Also, morbidly, a pretty popular song at funerals in the hood (along with “Cadillac on 22s”…I guess there’s a theme there).
  4. Mac feat. Mystikal – Murda Murda, Kill Kill: Ok, I was even kind of into this when I first heard it. It was wasn’t uncommon to hear darker themes come up within No Limit stuff, but unlike a lot of the other, cheesier tunes, this one was pretty hard. And Mystikal destroys his verse. This one is a guilty pleasure of mine, but not really a big track for No Limit in general.
  5. Master P feat. UnderGround Kingz – Break ‘Em Off Something: This was actually one of the first No Limit songs I heard, and I really only listened to it because UGK was on it (apparently, according to the internet, they had a pretty dramatic falling-out later on). It’s also one of the first songs I heard chopped and screwed. II still think P’s verse is kind of corny, but overall, the track is definitely a winner.
  6. TRU – Hoody Hoo: This is one of the best Halloween hip-hop tracks. It also stole Outkast’s “Hootie Hoo” pretty much wholesale, so purists may hate it, but you can’t really deny that it’s a catchy-ass song. I saw multiple fights happen when this song came up in the mix, so there’s also that.
  7. Silkk the Shocker feat. Mystikal – It Ain’t My Fault: Mystikal…what can I really say? This one is best described as anthemic in the goofiest possible manner, channeling Steve Urkel’s (“Family Matters”…pleeease act like you know) catch phrase and recycling it as the most notable (and most often call-and-response-d) hook on the album. This one was ridiculously big, a lot of people were introduced to the insanity that is Mystikal via this track.
  8. TRU feat. Mia X – I’m Bout It, Bout It: Hood classic right here. Definitely influenced by West coast styles, but strong in its own right. Mia X also used this track to prove that she was certainly on par, skills-wise, with any of the fine gentlemen on the label. Everyone I knew adopted the term “Bout It” into their vocabulary after this came out, so there you go.
  9. Master P – Mr. Ice Cream Man: I know this is where a lot of people heard Master P for the first time. GUESS WHAT GUYS! It’s a metaphor. A metaphor about selling illegal drugs.
  10. Master P feat. Fiend, Mia X, Mystikal, and Silkk the Shocker – Make Em Say Uhh!: All sorts of grammatical correctness in that title. If you haven’t heard this song at this point, you’re either 4 years old or from Maine. Yes, there was a guy in a gorilla suit dunking a basketball in the video, and yes, I had to look up who exactly was actually on the track. Probably the defining song of the label’s existence. Bigger than god for a few weeks at least.
#bathroombutts
Even RHC Bicycle Warriors have to use the bathroom #theyrejustlikeus. Can you name each of these #bathroombutts?
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Despite being best known as an actor (famous for such films as Almost Famous and for starring in the TV series My Name is Earl, Jason Lee first found success as a professional skateboarder in the late 1980s. He is still listed on the Stereo, which he co-founded.
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"A banana boat is a recreational boat without motor. It has the shape of an inflatable banana that floats on water and that constitute the funniest way to run over sea waters. The models are varied and host from three to ten people."—BoatsDepot.org
#barricadebutts
This year's Brooklyn RHC featured a much more bountiful collection of #barricadebutts than in 2014, likely due to the distinct lack of torrential monsoon weather. [See 2014 Brooklyn RHC]
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#napsnapsnaps
Sleeping in the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal is an integral tradition at the Red Hook Crit.
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This is Dave Trimble.
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Only two out of four riders on Team Fleshlight admit to have ever used their sponsor's product.
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This is Adrian Flores. His ruffled, DIY dyed purple skinsuit earned him the title of BEST DRESSED at the 2015 Instagram Olympics.
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Naturally, we undressed him for his victory photo.
IIWomen's Race
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Generally, a sniper's primary function in modern warfare is to provide detailed reconnaissance from a concealed position and, if necessary, to reduce the enemy's fighting ability by neutralizing high value targets (especially officers and other key personnel) and in the process pinning down and demoralizing the enemy.
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Ainara Arteaga won.
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Hi Kelli!
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IIIMen's Race feat. Start Line DIGITAL PIXEL FEEDING FRENZY
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Ivan Ravaioli won.
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Chimping at the Instagram Olympics
Chimping is a colloquial term used in digital photography to describe the habit of checking every photo on the camera display (LCD) immediately after capture. Some photographers use the term in a derogatory sense to describe the actions of amateur photographers, but the act of reviewing images on-camera is not necessarily frowned upon by professional or experienced photographers.
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Dear Common Projects: We have flyknit technology for our physically demanding days, but we'd consider a #microsponsorship for our #kasual days.
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Dear World, meet @lqqkstudio and @icnysport.
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2015 Brooklyn Red Hook Criterium SHARE Facebook Twitter
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