In the world of magnets, opposites attract. If you ask an armchair psychologist they’ll tell you the same thing about human relationships. But when it comes to Manual for Speed, that rule does not apply. As we have come to understand, we are a beacon of hope for road racing’s eccentric, a bastion for the peloton’s profane. We proudly carry this weight and we are happiest when pushing limits—but this isn’t a one way relationship, Manual for Speed exists in large part thanks to the existence of these road racing unicorns, special personalities who have spent near infinite hours in the saddle of a bicycle contemplating the bric and the brac of our world.
If you’re the handsome, whimsical, and exceedingly clever Joe Lewis you might have mulled over why the band Hanson so good. The ancient practice of fart hoarding. The existence of God. Or the best place on eBay to find cat t-shirts. If you’re Joe Lewis you might have beautiful hair, wonderfully shaped calves, and the wit of a seasoned stand-up. If you’re Joe Lewis then you already know how great you are. For those of you who aren’t Joe Lewis, get ready to update your fantasy team because this Joe Lewis Fan Club is going to give you unfiltered access into the mind of your new favorite rider.
Ugh, me? I’m sure it’s a bunch of other people too because I have kind of a common name. It’s not like my name is particularly tropical or even that foreign, but whatever. It’s the name of the eldest son of Brian and Megan Lewis, garlic farming chiropractors from Gloucester, NSW, Australia. Occasionally he is a professional cyclist for the Holowesko Citadel cycling team.
- Pizza Cutters: this new phenomenon that makes people hate each other on the internet. Placed ingeniously in the centre of the wheel in case you are riding in Italy and need to stop for some pizza, these babies are the source of much controversy, as cyclists are adverse to food and may consume too many calories if their food is too adequately portioned. Topping off the benefits of these puppies, you have two on a standard bicycle and three on a tricycle in case you need to lend to a friend.
- Couch- Adequately named by world class reverse canoer Ed white of GPM (a Amateur professional cycling team from NSW, Aus. AkA Team Loose) the couch is where you sit. You get comfy couches and less comfy couches and when you’re done with them standard practice is to place them on the curb and burn them.
- Name sticker- Placed on the top bar of my Felt F1 this cute little piece reminds me of my name and nationality and provides me with a sense of self that is sometimes lost in this cold hard world we live in.
- Hula hoops- attach to the metal sticks and short rolling pins between our two dropouts, these provide a mounting surface for the hoop-balloons which are filled with tube wind. With the combined engineering of these marvels of engineering greatness we can roll on our bicycle with little to no resistance provided the bike it placed in the correct plane relative to the ground.
- Saw blades- in the centre of your bike, great for defending yourself from grizzly bears.
Arnold is a badass, he was a poor farm boy from Austria who became the most recognizable figure in bodybuilding and then the governor of California. Thats nothing to scoff at. Pumping Iron is the best, watch it. NOW.
I think I’d probably rather something that said, like, “steak is numero uno” or a hard-hitting political statement like “mum for president.”
Joe’s not here, he’s out trying to buy a VHS and find the last existing blockbuster to rent Total Recall.
2/100. I’m totally at ease with my sexuality.
I like both boots and fruit, and I take no offense to either of those terms. Even when combined.
I’d go for a combination of Anti-theist and Humanist, I feel like religion really misses the point and most people believe out of fear. I don’t need a god or the thought of punishment to be a good person, I (try to) do it because being shitty makes me feel shitty. There’s a fake morality in religion that I really dislike, you’re not ethically or morally superior to me if you believe in a god. We all live, we all die. Every status symbol we recognize is of human construct and none of it matters, we’re all sacks of meat with a consciousness. We’re all the same so be nice to each other.
On the anti-theist side of things. I do actively oppose religion, but only when religious beliefs start to encroach on human rights. I don’t care what imaginary friend you have but I do care when you act on the instructions from it and actively try and control others (gay marriage, abortion, Mississippi’s ‘religious freedom laws’).
I just search eBay for cat shirts.
One of these and a second pair of Heelys. (I know, I know; you said one, but I never ask for anything. Pleeeeeaaaase.)
There’s another type? GO BRONCOS WORLDCHAMPIOONSSSSSSSSSSSS #NOWECAMNT
The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
Dude for sure, but I’ll have to find it first.
In all seriousness, probably being a part of the world championships team in 2010, representing my home country and helping my friend and now badass pro tour pro Michael Matthews win a world championship. In the spirit of the interview, it was when I was peeing in Gila and a crash happened in front of me, I went over the top and didn’t get any pee on myself.
Dude, so many things. Anytime I’ve crashed and taken people down with me, or when I was 16 and saluted for the wrong line at the Central Coast Junior Tour. But man, I’m sure there are people out there that can remember other dumb stuff I’ve done.
He hasn’t been in there for a while but Alder Martz is good to hang with. We shoot the shit and plan our #jalder world takeover.
Taylor Phinney, ya boiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Mostly we just talk about what stuff we gonna do when we get back to Boulder. #home #thebest #bubble.
My director TC, going back to the car is fun. Sometimes I just go back and ask him what he’s thinking about, or questions about life.
Man, the crash in Gila. I was tailgunning, tryna’ get some bottles from the car and people just started eating it everywhere. I slid my tyre for ages and somehow came to a stop while the world collapsed around me, it was complete carnage and there were some seriously hurt dudes.
Totally, but mostly it’s just older women trying to flirt with me.
Not on purpose, had an incident with a Bunsen burner in high school and they definitely curled a little bit.
Yeah, I had an old paper clip sitting around and it’s holding so far. I figure even if it falls off again, they put two on for a reason. Right?
Everybody’s talkin’ all this stuff about me (Now now)
Why don’t they just let me live (Oh oh oh)
I don’t need permission
Make my own decisions (Oh)
That’s my prerogative
They say I’m crazy
I really don’t care
That’s my prerogative
They say I’m nasty
But I don’t give a damn
Gettin’ girls is how I live
Some ask me questions
Why am I so real
But they don’t understand me
I really don’t know the deal
About a brother
Trying hard to make it right
Not long ago
Before I win this fight
‘Sing’- it reminds me of something my mum said when my brother was angrily looking for his headphones to go for a run. He was super pissed off and not dealing with it well and my mum said “Be your own iPod.”
Be your own iPod. Sing. It feels good.
- Joe Lewis the karate champion. I was a yellow belt in karate when i was twelve and like my American counterpart, I’ve been referred to as the Greatest Karate Fighter of all time.11In Gloucester, NSW, Australia, population 2500, that is.
- Joe Louis the boxer.
- Joe Lewis the martial artist and actor who coined the term “American Kickboxing.”
- Joe Lewis the British businessman who lives in the Bahamas due to tax exile.
- Jo Lewis the British artist who mostly works in water colors.
Not in a malicious way, more as a hilarious joke because I’m particularly immature. But yes, many times.
No, but I tried to light one on fire once. It didn’t work. Very upsetting.
One time I was squeezing out a pee and farted and thought I’d pooped myself. I sat at the back the entire rest of the race because I was scared I smelled like poop. Luckily it rained later, cleansing me of my sins.
Well we were going by that rule the first year we had our RV but Butler did it anyway. Then it was just free for all. Everyone has pretty good aim though.
We push them together, Rob Squire can’t sleep unless his body is touching at least some part of mine. I have him put on a wig and pretend to be my girlfriend (if I have one at the time) and vice versa. Life is lonely in the trenches man, papa bear’s gotta eat.