2015 Tour de France: Stage 12
road-racing

2015 Tour de France: Stage 12

Thursday - July 16, 2015 - Lannemezan

I think at the time I was writing a business plan and you’re supposed to include a SWOT; which analysis seemed pertinent to today's Health & Wellness-related decision-making.

TABLE OF CONTENTS MFS TEAM
Layer_9
Daniel Wakefield Pasley
Owner/Operator, Photographer, Writer and Publisher
Layer_5
Emiliano Granado
Owner/Operator, Photographer and Photo Editor
RACE BIBLE
START

Lannemezan

FINISH

Plateau de Beille

DISTANCE

195 km

KOMS

Col de Portet-d’Aspet, 57.5 km (4.3 km @ 9.7%, Cat 2); Col de la Core, 93 km (14.1 km @ 5.6%, Cat 1); Port de Lers, 144 km (12.9 km @ 6%, Cat 1); Plateau de Beille, 195 km (15.8 km @ 7.9%, HC)

SPRINTS

Saint-Bertrand de-Comminges, 20 km

WINNING TIME

5:40:14

TOP 3 FINISHERS
  1. Joaquim Rordriguez (5:40:14)
  2. Jakob Fuglsang (+0:01:12)
  3. Romain Bardet (+0:01:49)
TOP 3 GC STANDINGS
  1. Christopher Froome (46:40:32)
  2. Tejay Van Garderen (+0:02:52)
  3. Nairo Quintana (+0:03:09)
COURSE DESCRIPTION [OFFICIAL]

Quelle journée! L’étape d’aujourd’hui propose le genre de belles routes et de magnifiques montagnes du Tour de France est célèbre pour. Et aussi, un village peuplé de poupées raggedy ann grandeur nature posé dans toute la ville dans les différents tableaux vivants domestiques comme mère et fille à l’arrêt de bus, père et fils traire une vache, jeune prostituée en souriant d’un balcon au-dessus, etc.

MANUAL FOR SPEED BIBLE
TIME OF FILING

11:35 PM!!!

ACCOMMODATION

We are in the Néméa Appart’Hotel Toulouse Constellation and NOT the Nemea Appart’Hotel Toulouse Saint-Martin. Saint-Martin is on Rue Alain Fournier, the Constellation is on Rue Dominique Clos. The Saint-Martin is nicer and has a pool but we didn’t have a reservation there, we had a reservation at the Constellation. We are in a studio with two twin beds. The password to get into the parking lot and onto the elevator is #2640. We have a Beko mini fridge and a PC computer flat screen monitor for a TV. The bathroom is spacious EXCEPT inside the shower, where it’s small and prohibitive in terms of “maintenance.”

WIFI DETAILS
The wefeee is back and it’s bad. So bad. Problematically bad.
WEATHER
Cloudy, then biblical rains.
NUMBER OF STEPS

6,704 steps or 3.2 miles

TODAY'S OBJECTIVES
  1. Photograph the start. ✓
  2. Photograph one of the two climbs before the finish climb. ✓
  3. Avoid the finish. ✓
COURSE DESCRIPTION [UNOFFICIAL]

People talk shit about electronic music, that’s fine, it’s been happening for years. They say it’s too bleepy, lacks soul, sounds like dance music for appliances. Okay hey whatever but do me a favor and listen to Jerk It by Thunderheist right now. … Okay how was it? Did you dance? If you didn’t dance you’re dead inside so you should probably log-off the internet and check-in with somebody and see what’s next for you. For everyone else, shit is tight, right? The point is, sometimes at races the quality, character and nature of the rides get lost. Today everything, everywhere, was stunning. Stage 12 is one of the best rides in the World.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #1

Colombian fans are the best fans in the world.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #2

There are currently at least two different McDonald’s Ordering Kiosk Operating Systems (OKOSes) in use at this time. One is good enough. The other is GREAT.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #3

The French love the song Karma Chameleon by Culture Club. You hear it everywhere, all the time.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #4

I lost my notes. I lost my notes.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #5

Today was going to be short anyway but I still had A LOT of really good notes because we had a lot to say. Everyday I take notes. All day long. Otherwise I wouldn’t know what to write about. But I lost them during a sync glitch. Fuck you iCloud. And Day One. If I wasn’t so dehydrated I would cry about all the notes I lost. Guys, these notes, they were so good.

MEAL & FOOD REPORT

We have two things to report.

  1. MFS feature “I’ll Eat That” is returning in the days to come. I told Emiliano I would handle Snacks. He said okay, but he’s happy to handle Snacks too. I said yeah, no problem I got Snacks, what if you did Drinks and Protein? He said Drinks sounded great but no to Protein. I said yeah, I don’t want to play I’ll Eat That with Protein, especially not in Europe, or Asia, or Africa. Or South America.
  2. We had dinner at Rajpoot in Blagnac just outside Toulouse. And it was AMAZING. Maybe the single best dinner experience I’ve ever had in France. I say maybe because we had several excellent food experiences while covering Paris-Nice, Race to the Sun (that didn’t go to the sun). Anyway, it was a lovely experience. Cool breeze, we sat outside. Then a thunderstorm so we went inside. Poulet Jalfrezi! Thanks for the complimentary bottle of San Pellegrino.
RETRACTIONS/CORRECTIONS/APOLOGIES

We received this anonymous text today from my mother whose name is Pat: “Dear MFS. I take exception to you of all people suggesting that grandmothers don’t ride bikes in America. DWP himself happens to be fairly familiar with an American grandmother who is a cycling MANIAC.” It’s true, my mom, who is also grandmother to my children, still rides bikes. A lot. Road bikes. Mountain bikes. All bikes. Sorry Mom.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Boom Sha-Lock-Lock Boom"
-Emiliano Granado
"There's a place in France / where the naked ladies dance / there's a hole in the wall / where the man can see it all / but the men don't care / cause they chew their underwear."
-Daniel Wakefield Pasley, remembering an old dirty playground song from elementary school in the late '70s at Green Street Elementary in Annapolis, Maryland
IRace Report

When I first moved to SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTRefresh your mind, body and spirit with the MFS Artist Residency. Kit orders are open! Portland I started dating a girl who was then in the process of getting a Marketing and Communications degree from the University of Portland. I didn’t go to college unless you count the two semesters at Santa Monica Community College I almost completed and you shouldn’t, and because when we met I was doing marketing stuff for work I was curious what a formal marketing education entailed. So we talked a lot about all kinds of shit but what I remember the most was called a SWOT Analysis: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. I don’t remember it the most because it was ridiculous, rhetorical and dogmatic like everything else she was learning about, I remember it the most because it was ALSO really helpful and easily applicable to real world decisions/propositions. And I think at the time I was writing a business plan and you’re supposed to include a SWOT; which analysis seemed pertinent to today’s Health & Wellness-related decision-making.

manualforspeed_tourdefrance2015_stage12-swot1
AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE™
“You've got to know when to hold 'em / know when to fold 'em / know when to walk away / know when to run.”Kenny Rogers
IIToday's Playlist
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IIILannemezan Start
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Fig. 1: Two different mammal-cooling techniques.
IVCol de la Core
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