2015 Tour de France: Stage 16
road-racing

2015 Tour de France: Stage 16

Monday - July 20, 2015 - Bourg-de-Péage

Blah blah blah blah.

TABLE OF CONTENTS MFS TEAM
Layer_9
Daniel Wakefield Pasley
Owner/Operator, Photographer, Writer and Publisher
Layer_5
Emiliano Granado
Owner/Operator, Photographer and Photo Editor
RACE BIBLE
START

Bourg-de-Péage

FINISH

Gap

DISTANCE

201 km

KOMS

Col de Cabre, 130 km (9.1 km @ 4.6%, Cat 2); Col de Manse, 189 km (8.9 km @ 5.6%, Cat 2)

SPRINTS

Die, 86.5 km

WINNING TIME

4:30:10

TOP 3 FINISHERS
  1. Ruben Plaza (4:30:10)
  2. Peter Sagan (+0:00:30)
  3. Jarlinson Pantano (+0:00:36)
TOP 3 GC STANDINGS
  1. Christopher Froome (64:47:16)
  2. Nairo Quintana (+0:03:10)
  3. Tejay Van Garderen (+0:03:32)
COURSE DESCRIPTION [OFFICIAL]

                                

MANUAL FOR SPEED BIBLE
TIME OF FILING

Late

ACCOMMODATION

We’re in Sisteron, it’s on a rocky hill, there is a river and suggestive rock that lights up at night. I think it’s maybe the best town in France but Emiliano says Briancon is better because it’s a fortress built onto the top of an Alpe. Blah blah blah blah. We’re living in a suburban house on a hill with a nice elderly married couple. They have an “organic” piscine and a large number of vocal reptiles in the backyard. It’s a lot like staying at Emiliano’s uncle’s house in La Plata, Argentina.

WIFI DETAILS
Blah blah blah.
WEATHER
Blah blah blah. Out of respect to Amelia in Salt Lake City, Utah (thanks for the email), it was hot again, but manageable. And breezy. But not windy. Blah blah blah.
NUMBER OF STEPS

A bunch.

TODAY'S OBJECTIVES
  1. Blah. ✓
  2. Blah blah. ✓
  3. Blah blah blah. X
  4. Blah, blah. ✓
COURSE DESCRIPTION [UNOFFICIAL]

                              

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #1

Blah.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #2

Blah blah.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #3

Blaaaaahhhhhhhh.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #4

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #5

Blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah.

MEAL & FOOD REPORT
  1. Blah.
  2. The boulangerie around the corner from our Appart’City Valence makes pain au chocolats so good I literally cried in the car while I ate it. It’s called Mougel. I had to use Google Street view to find their name. It’s probably also on the bag which is most assuredly still in the car, but the car is out front and I would need to move to sort it out that way. I don.t want to move.
RETRACTIONS/CORRECTIONS/APOLOGIES

Who cares? Blaahhhhhhh.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Dude, NO MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS!!! until one week after the tour."
-Jered Gruber, on Daniel's all but murdered PMA.
"You just wanna jambone in your private place don't you?"
-Daniel, on Emiliano.
"You want me to translate that hay bale?"
-In France, hay bales are like provincial billboards.
"Can we just walk around and point to what we want?"
-Operating a menu at Brasseries in France is so tedious.
"Those people look like the kinda people that drive the lion around."
-Anonymous
"We’re just up here on our high horse drinking the koolaid wearing pants too big reading our own reviews."
-Anonymous
"Don't put your half eaten meat in my face then yell at me with a bull horn."
-Anonymous
IDear World
Race Report

First we surfed Phil Liggett and now we’ve been to Sisterone, so um, we’ve got to be getting kinda close. In other news, here are our notes reproduced verbatim. Normally we digest them and turn them into various lists and commentary, normally.

 

  1. River towns
  2. Dead sunflower patches
  3. Light is sucking the soul from cameralife
  4. study of butterflies and moths is known as “lepidoptery”, and biologists who specialize in either are called “lepidopterists”. As a pastime, watching butterflies and moths is kno
  5. Lagniappe, extra spot. The Rock place.
  6. Forced waving, hand hurts, ashley carple tunnel, bad working conditons
  7. france no have screeen technlgy for door-window, possible?
  8. Belly sweat, suntan lotion collecting everything
  9. I dont sideye Ilook at them with front eyes
  10. Back of second climb is a good hang gliding course
  11. So many sun flower patches, there are extra
  12. Need ankle pant
  13. Merry Christmas tapastry
  14. I need to get press credentials for the Iowa state fair.
  15. Katusha team car guy winning at going 30 for the whole course
IIToday's Highs & Lows
HIGH POINTS
  • Sisteron.

LOW POINTS
  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

  • Low Point.

IIILearning French Phrases #9
AN EXPLORATION, A GLOSSARY, A CATALOG FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS

Blablabla.11Blah blah blah.

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IVBourg-de-Péage Start
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VAlong the Course
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VICol de Manse
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A Typology of the Fronts of Recreational Vechicles
Polka dots are in this year, folks.
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VIIVisual Dessert
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Daniel's Internet Suit: fig 1.
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Daniel's Internet Suit: fig 2.
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VIIIExclusive Manual for Speed Behind the Scenes Feature!
#mfsbts by Jered Gruber
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Guys. Guys. Something has happened to me. I've been catching myself taking photos of the most adorable french babies. And now... I'm taking selfies with a bunch of chiens. Like, dudes, am I losing my edge?
manualforspeed_JEREDGRUBER_tourdefrance2015_stage16-2
Wait a minute... you want me to move? You LITERALLY have five entire meters in front of you. You can't possibly want to control five whole meters of space at the Tour de france for your shitty palm-sized video shot???? SERIOUSLY?
manualforspeed_JEREDGRUBER_tourdefrance2015_stage16-3
Guys I swear, this one is gonna be worth it.
IXFrom the MFS Inbox

From: (MFS is protecting the sender’s identity until which time the sender reads this and wishes us to un-protect his/her identity.)

Subject: today

 

We are in Embrun (over an hour away 🙁 )…also pretty cool, but not built on a rock. Sisteron is nuts. That’s a good place to go shit some post cards when the Tour rolls through. I don’t think I’ve seen so many photographers in one spot outside of a finish line.

 

In other news, we have a thermometer in our room. It’s reading 30C at 11pm. Euthanize me. We do travel with a fan though. Unfortunately, the fan is blowing hot air in my face. I can’t imagine why anyone would have air conditioning in southern France. It’s so rare for it to be hot here.

 

Tubing? Find something…we’ll see. I’m game. I want to go for a bike ride, but I’m not riding when it’s hot, which leaves morning or night, and you couldn’t pay me to wake up early tomorrow, so we’ll probably ride around 6-7…which leaves a lot of hot day to pass tubing. Do they have tubing in Europe? Is that a thing?


 

From: mike cherney22One of Manual for Speed and Yonder Journal’s best friends, a frequent contributor and sometimes collaborator.

Subject: souvenir ??

 

dude…i know your so bizy work’n the TdF…..you could totally ignore this ask–which is maybe too much to ask anyway…..but i thought it might fit in somehow……could you just like pick up/find in your daily doing stuff a thing….. not a thing you would buy but a thing that you might just find……that is the TdF in some twisted or not twisted way…..a souvenir vicarious in nature? and Jack Perry rocks….thanks for the tip.

 

From: Daniel

Subject: Re: souvenir ??

 

Dude, for you, of course! But listen, DON’T LET US FORGET to do this. We are brain dead. SO BRIAN DEAD. Email me in a few days and let’s collectively re-remember to do this together. I have some ideas but nothing concrete

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