You got California, I mean it’s California, the same one known around the world. The California with Yosemite, the Sierra Nevada, Death Valley, Hollywood, San Francisco, the forest of the Redwoods, and a thousand miles of beautiful coastline. This is your canvas, upon which you had the chance to draw the world’s most beautiful tour. You’ve basically been given a road race tour shopping spree to the nicest road ride race tour superstores in the world. In my mind I’m like, SLAM DUNK. If I’m me I’m thinking, “God damn it this race is going to raise the bar/set the standard/break the mold/ redefine the curve/change the world/disrupt.” It’s like, “Good luck Olympics, good luck.”“But, and I am going to be honest here because you deserve it, you deserve the honesty, it's only right that I give it to you. You cocked it up.”MFS
You have us riding and driving all over the places, bouncing around the state like a schizophrenic jack rabbit. I get it, there’s a lot of expectation. I mean here we are, the world, and we’re watching you, we’re judging you, commenting on your every decision and you didn’t want to miss an opportunity, you wanted to cover your bases, no loose ends right? But in doing so you’ve rushed through all beautiful parts of the state. You’re like a college student visiting Europe for two weeks who thinks they can see the Parthenon, the Coliseum, The Louvre, The Alps, Barcelona, Ghent, Berlin, and the Scandinavians, but instead takes a snapshot of each one and spends the majority of the time messaging friends back home on Facebook while taking one long overnight Eurail ride after another.
Instead of having anything that resembles a quality experience in any of this state’s beautiful places, you’ve rushed us from one place to the next; we take a few photos, crown a winner and then it’s back in the car/on the bus for 4-5 hours. Hey, we complain, we’re good at it, but it’s not just us, ask around, take the temperature, send out a survey. It’s been hard man, these transfers are killer. People are dragging, racers are grumpy, and if you’re a super fan, if you’re one of those European Fan Facsimiles, the fan that follows every stage of the race, it’s a real drag.
But you can fix this, the issue isn’t terminal! Why not spend two days in Tahoe, or set up in Los Angeles and run a couple stages out of the city and surrounding area before moving on to the next place? Racer, media, and fans alike will have a better experience. What do you have to lose? I mean the whole point is to get more people to see the race, to get excited about the race, and buy stuff that has to do with the race. Right? Hey, we’ve got a ton of ideas, but its so late right now11See this story for an explanation. so I can’t fully elucidate all my thinking here, but trust me, you can do better and we can help, send a little note to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get the imagination machine fired up!
If you were born with the gene that makes you interested in watching a timer count down, or paint dry, or water boil, or Big Bang Theory, and you can watch the TT with interest and enthusiasm then you have today’s unfair advantage.
Manual for Speed has been commissioned to introduce a new race classification category called “Most Animal.” Points for the classification will be awarded on the basis of style, swagger, and grit. We’ve assembled an elite group of expert analysts who will be assessing and assigning points for performance. The most animal jersey for ATOK will be awarded at the end of the race.
ALPHA-PHILIPPE: 6 pts
F$%K, nice riding man. I don’t really give two shits that you , but I do LOVE that you stood up and sprinted for tha line like a boss. Probably the only time a $8000 TT bike looks CÖÕL is when it’s being thrown side to side like a rag doll on the way to the line.
ROHAN DENNIS: 4 pts
My man is tall. Tall is good. Tall and fast is very, very good. Beating the tallest of the tall T.Phin means you got some form. Being 8 seconds down at the intermediate checkpoint and turnin’ on the afterburners for the second half of the race is very advanced. Very, very advanced.
T.PHIN’S SHADES: 1 pt
Those things were hottt.
Standings After Stage 06
- Neilson Powless: 12 points
- Julian Alaphilippe: 12 points
- Ben King: 9 points
- Toms Skujins: 8 points
- Wouter Wippert: 7 points
- Peter Sagan: 7 points
- Nathan Haas: 6 points
- Jasper Stuyven: 6 points
- Vasil Kiriyenka: 5 points
- Axeon-Hagens Berman: 5 points
- Oscar Clark: 4 points
- Rohan Dennis: 4 points
- Mark Christian: 4 points
- Dave Towle: 4 poimts
- Cannondale Team Car: 3 points
- Laguna Seca: 3 points
- Caps: 2 points
- Inflatable Cookies: 2 points
- T.Phin’s Shades: 1 point
Men’s sizing! Women’s sizing! Full kit featuring Bonus Treasures! Kit à la Karte! We’ve got it all! The only thing we can’t give you is photos of the kit. More info HERE, or click below to BUY!
Eating that chocolate doughnut in the media room.
Meeting Lachlan’s parents, then doing an interview with his dad (forthcoming).
Lachlan’s dad telling me that he likes the coffee in Australia better than the coffee in the States.
The 3.5 hours in San Francisco traffic we got to experience after the race.
The bed bugs I am going to sleep with.