2017 Tour de California: Stage 06
road-racing

2017 Tour de California: Stage 06

Friday - May 19, 2017 - Big Bear Lake

The finish was placed at the end of a pier so the racers could ride directly into the water if they wanted. None of them did, which is honestly so damn disappointing.

TABLE OF CONTENTS MFS TEAM
Daniel Wakefield Pasley
Owner/Operator, Photographer, Writer and Publisher
Kyle Von Hoetzendorff
Writer, Editor
RACE BIBLE
START

Big Bear Lake

FINISH

Big Bear Lake

DISTANCE

24km ITT

KOMS

N/A

SPRINTS

N/A

WINNING TIME

0:28:27

TOP 3 FINISHERS
  1. Jonathan Dibben (GBr) Team Sky, 0:28:27
  2. Brent Bookwalter (USA) BMC Racing Team, +0:07
  3. Andrew Talansky (USA) Cannondale-Drapac, +0:16
TOP 3 GC STANDINGS
  1. George Bennett (NZl) Team LottoNl-Jumbo, 20:16:48
  2. Rafal Majka (Pol) Bora-Hansgrohe, +0:35
  3. Andrew Talansky (USA) Cannondale-Drapac, +0:36
COURSE DESCRIPTION [OFFICIAL]

At 6,752’ and featuring one of the most beautiful lakes in California, the City of Big Bear Lake will welcome spectators for the third time – this year for the fan-favorite Individual Time Trial stage, where racers will take off one at a time, riding against the clock for the best time of the day.

 

The course will begin in the heart of the Village in Big Bear Lake. The first three miles of the route wend through a residential section along the south shore of the lake. Taking the Stanfield Cutoff across the lake, the course will turn left, continuing on Hwy 38 to the town of Fawnskin. As the riders turn back toward the City of Big Bear Lake following essentially the same route back into town, they can expect large crowds in Fawnskin.

 

Heading right onto Big Bear Blvd. with just .6 miles left, the riders will then turn right onto Pine Knot Ave, through a narrow stone archway and onto a 1,000-foot jetty. For riders pushing their physical limits, the finish line will very close to the water’s edge! This is very flat and fast course. Don’t expect riders to score huge time gaps over their rivals to take a big lead into Stage 7.

MANUAL FOR SPEED BIBLE
TIME OF FILING

3:19 AM

ACCOMMODATION

Pasadena Howard Johnson: Yep, we’re back. This time our room is split in the middle, so in reality we have our own rooms. Only one has a desk though, so I took that one cuz I like working on a desk. The tradeoff is that the room with the desk overlooks Colorado Blvd which is, at 2:22am, flush with active traffic. Mostly it’s just car sounds though, the wailing cries of the late-night destitute are few. I really hope the bed is comfortable. It’s worth noting that the shower has a large, handmade sign that outlines the correct use of a shower curtain. It is my intuition that they’ve had some problems in the past. Still, the tile in the bathroom seems to be stable enough.

WIFI DETAILS
I am uploading videos and they’re going SUPER DUPER SLOW. That’s part of the reason why I am still up. The other part is that tomorrow is the final stage and the riders are downhill racing right here, to Pasadena. This bit of information is only tangentially related to the WiFi details, but I think it will prove itself to be important in the future.
WEATHER
t was sunny again. But that wasn’t the notable thing. That’s ceased to be notable. What’s important about Big Bear at this time of year is that it is SO dry. Like, inside one of those desiccation packets dry. I think my face has shrunk and tightened over the framework of my skull, it just feels very tight. In addition, my sinuses are currently under assault by some form of hateful pollen. So yes, it was nice and sunny, but because I can’t smell and my eyes are more raisin than grape, I couldn’t fully enjoy it
NUMBER OF STEPS

Dunno. I’d guess like 6-8 miles worth of steps. Somewhere in there.

TODAY'S OBJECTIVES
  1. Exercise: Guys, Daniel and I went running. We did about 25 minutes. It was hard. Because of the allergies and the altitude and the multiple days of driving–working–driving–working-eating–working–sleeping 5ish hours, we struggled a bit. But we did it. Of course some jagoff had to make a “You forgot your bike!” joke because we were running along the course, but even that dude’s shit joke couldn’t sink our running ship.
  2. Watch, experience, photograph the TT: Daniel had set out to cover a lot of ground. Early on he was aiming to visit multiple points along the race course. But a lack of motorized transport, access, and overall will put a stop to those dreams. And while capturing the TT riders on the distant shores of Big Bear Lake may not have happened, he was still able to capture some really spicy racing action (you can see it below). For my part I milled around, watching the riders come in while checking out the VIP tent. So yeah, you could say we accomplished this goal.
  3. Talk to Ian about NASCAR: Here’s the thing. Ian doesn’t watch NASCAR, he’s never even watched an entire race. So in the end we didn’t talk about NASCAR.
  4. Get some quality rest: I feel asleep for 20 minutes on 210 around Arcadia, does that count?
COURSE DESCRIPTION [UNOFFICIAL]

Oh boy. From what I could see, the start went through town and then the finish also went through town, only instead of ending back at the start line, the finish was placed at the end of a pier so the racers could ride directly into the water if they wanted. None of them did, which is honestly so damn disappointing. Otherwise, I think they just rode partway around the lake, did a 180, and then rode back. Honestly the course fell flat. (The course was flat, HAHA!)

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #1

The hotel we used in Big Bear wasn’t a Narnia joint. Instead I am pretty sure it was designed by the same architect who designed the building in Ghostbusters where Dana Barrett lived. The Zuul joint. It def had that vibe. There were painted doors, curious statues, dead ends and most likely various abattoirs and antechambers , all of which lead us to believe that this place was 100% built to channel a god ghoul from another realm.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #2

Some riders have a special TT bike and some don’t. Like the dudes on Cofidis. Now, I want to be clear: I didn’t watch the entire TT, only some of it—so in the interest of full disclosure I just want to say that what I am about to observe may not be 100% accurate. The Cofidis team doesn’t give a shit about the TT. And they certainly don’t give a shit about special TT bikes. At least from what I saw.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #3

The oranges in the VIP lounge are not peeled. More like IP if you ask me. I mean maybe even just P. To be fair, and I really want to be, it’s probably somewhere between IP and P. Like maybe 3/4s of the way to IP from P.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #4

We thought bike mechanicals were a thing of the past, like the rolodex or meeting on time, but nope, they’re still here. Lachlan’s bike gave up literally at the start line. This makes absolutely no sense, from both a mechanical and a cosmic energy/karmic perspective.

TODAY'S OBSERVATION #5

The race environment is the ideal scenario for people otherwise not placed in a position of power to try on authority for a bit. Yes, you already know I am talking about the Moms, Uncles, and Retired Neighbors who eagerly take up whistle and flag in the fight to insure every single person who comes out to spectate has visceral authoritarian experience. What you get is the Milgram experiment IRL.

MEAL & FOOD REPORT

Don’t go to Slater’s 50/50. There are better experiences out there, 100%. 1. They’ll forget your chicken wings. 2. The burgers won’t be good, even though that’s their thing, they won’t be good. 3. Your eyes will be assaulted by no less than 12 TV screens at any given moment. Even if you were to try to find solace in the bathroom, you wouldn’t be able to escape the screen assault as they’ve planted sleeper cells above the urinal. 4. After eating there, your stomach won’t feel good for a while—not just through the night but well into the next morning. 5. The burgers don’t come with any sides… what kinda shit is that?

RETRACTIONS/CORRECTIONS/APOLOGIES

N/A. YOLO BABY!

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"ARCO sucks."
-Daniel
IInterviews with the Boz
Ian on NASCAR
Animation by Steve Hockett.

Here’s the thing, Ian doesn’t watch NASCAR, he’s never even watched an entire race. So we didn’t really talk about NASCAR.

IIThe Warm-Up
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IIIThe Time Trial
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IVAn Illustrated Guide to Earning a World Tour Yellow Jersey
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VThe Finish
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To the victor...
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go the spoils.
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