Tour de San Luis: Día Siete
road-racing

Tour de San Luis: Día Siete

Sunday - January 25, 2015 - San Luis

So this is it.

RACE BIBLE
Start
San Luis
Finish
San Luis
Length
122.4 km
WEATHER

Sun44°C wtf

KOMs
Alto los Puquios, Cat 3 (17.5km)
Sprints
El Durazno (23.8km), El Durazno (91.8km)
Accommodations
Hotel Huarpes Rooms 128 & 132
MFS Team

Daniel Wakefield Pasley, Emiliano Granado and Keiran Best

Manual Tecnico Course Description (verbatim)

Sunday January 25 will be run, starting from the corner of Junín and Rivadavia streets to Cruz de Piedra, Volcano, roundabout El Durazno, to return to San Luis and finish Laboratories Puntanos, with the particularity that will turn 3 times between Cruz de Piedra and Rotonda El Durazno, being 122.4 kms of travel with 2 Goals and Goal Mountain Sprint.

Manual Tecnico Course Description (translated)

Yeah, I mean what the Tecnico said is pretty much it. It starts in San Luis, it rides out of town toward the town of El Vulcan, which we’ve been to like 5,000X this week. It, in fact, does have the particularity that it turns 3 times between Cruz de Piedra and Rotonda El Duranzo. Maybe the Course Description left out the part about the 180 degree turn in front of a Toll Both and the catholic nuns but otherwise yeah, that’s about right.

Objectives

Avoid itching, rash, dehydration, fever, lupus, melanoma, nausea and vomiting, eczema, cancer, vitiligo, macular degeneration, freckles, keratosis pilaris, shock, cataracts, actinic keratosis, heat stroke, lymphedema, heat exhaustion, cramps, wrinkles and burn related to the bright bright bright bright-ass sun. Take a Game Changing photograph featuring Pippo Pozzato and Luca Paolini.

Mission Outcome

MFS accomplished one of our two objectives. Manual for Speed will announce which one on Wednesday, January 28th, 2015 at 11:00am EST.

IPost-Race Report

The 2015 Tour de San Luis is almost all the way over. The only thing left is an invite-only dinner party at Potrero de los Funes in a Hotel Casino in the middle of a semi-permanent motorsport race course next to a lake in a valley surrounded by mountains, creeks, streams and waterfalls—known by some as the natural paradise of the province of San Luis in Argentina—tonight at 10:30 PM.

 

ALERT: IT’S 7:43PM AND GEORGE MICHAEL’S “CARELESS WHISPER” IS PLAYING IN THE VISTA SUITES SPA & GOLF DINING AREA.

 

It’s almost dark. Racers, media, and the San Luis Organization Illuminati, are one-by-one making their way downstairs into the hotel lobby and dining area. The vibe is def decked-out, from formal bandeau tops and designer platform slides to un-suspended suspenders and Hard-Popped collars. And cologne, so much cologne. Everyone is going.

 

ALERT: IT’S 7:59PM AND JEFFERSON STARSHIP’S “SARA” IS PLAYING IN THE VISTA SUITES SPA & GOLF DINING AREA.

 

Even the people that weren’t going are going on a account of the fact that San Luis Airport ran out of gas and subsequently cancelled flights. That is, everyone is going if they can find an invite. We heard there was going to be a band and a video and shrimp cocktails, so we scored ours earlier this morning. Also, with any luck Mark Cavendish would Teach Us How To Dougie.

 

ALERT: IT’S 8:07PM AND LIONEL RICHIE’S “SAY YOU SAY ME” IS PLAYING IN THE VISTA SUITES SPA & GOLF DINING AREA.

 

So this is it, this is the last time MFS is going to spend seven (or more) hours in the VSSAG dining room area downloading images and translating San Luis Swimming Hole websites. No more working on a table covered in empty cortado cups, water bottles, and tostado plates. We’re basically one la cuenta away from wrapping up the tangled mess of adapters that are plugged into splitters that are plugged into adapters that are plugged into every available electrical outlet within 25 feet of the Manual for Speed movie set.

 

ALERT: IT’S 8:24PM AND A-HA’S “CRYING IN THE RAIN” IS PLAYING IN THE VISTA SUITES SPA & GOLF DINING AREA.

 

And how better to say goodbye to the town and tour of San Luis than to spend our final minutes of the Grand Spectacle watching—through the wall-to-wall window of the dining area, as if on display for our enjoyment—one of those soft-sided 18-wheelers get packed (in some circles, like farming for example, this style of packing is called “pitching”) with ALL of the races bikes. Apparently it’s driving to Buenos Aires through the night, where it will reunite with the Teams, provided it remains unmolested by Land Pirates over the course of it’s dark, rural, 800 kilometer drive.

 

ALERT: IT’S 8:36PM AND BOB MARLEY’S “I WANNA LOVE YOU” IS PLAYING IN THE VISTA SUITES SPA & GOLF DINING AREA.

IISeven fun facts and three questions about the Tour de San Luis Bicycle Inventory
  1. 23 Teams
  2. 6 Road Bikes
  3. 6 Time Trial Bikes
  4. 3 Spare Bikes
  5. 15 Total Bikes Per Team
  6. $10,000 Retail Cost Per Bike
  7. Total Retail Value: $3,450,00.00
  8. How difficult is fencing 345 bikes?
  9. What’s the actual street value versus retail or market value?
  10. Do Land Pirates exist?
IIISan Luis: Start
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Laura Meseguer and two Colombians.
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Ben King is pictured here demonstrating the Macarena which, due to a very loud car stereo, was the current ambient/environmental/baseline noise at the Etapa 7 start line.
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“OK, so you go straight, then you turn right at the detour, then take your first left, and then you keep going. The start line will be right there.”
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In America, we would call Guillaume Van Keirsbulck a "linebacker." Wikipedia lists him at 6'4" 187 pounds, but based on visual and gravitational estimates made at the Tour de San Luis, MFS puts his weight at well north of 200.
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Excuse me bud, this photo isn't about you, you're great, but you aren't Thomas Voeckler.
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"HEY! Move out of the shot!!!"
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Tim de Waele. #mechanism
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Improvised Shade Device Fig. 1: Custom Homemade Fan Banner. Devout cycling fans will find themselves adequately prepared for situations requiring shade without any additional effort required, given that lightweight, flexible banners are quite suitable ISDs, given their adaptability to various situations. Custom aesthetics tailored to the day's race are an added bonus.
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Improvised Shade Device Fig. 2: Cardboard box found on the street. In contrast to the Custom Homemade Fan Banner, a cardboard box offers less coverage and barebones aesthetics. That said, it's low-cost and using one helps fight against litter.
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Improvised Shade Device Fig. 3: Custom Fan Cardboard Box. Mixing the low-effort, low-cost benefits of the Cardboard Box and the custom aesthetic of the Custom Homemade Fan Banner, the Custom Fan Cardboard Box is a hybrid solution growing in popularity.
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Carlos Alzate is an MFS-verified #chiller.
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#ebony + #ivory
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#barricadebarks
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This is the leading candidate for the 2015 MFS Best iPad of the Year.
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IVBalneario La Hoya en El Volcan: Southern Recreation
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CARP, in this case, refers not to the oily freshwater fish native to Europe and Asia, but to Club Atlético River Plate, the most successful football team of Argentina, having won the Primera División professional title a record 36 times. It was also declared (under duress) the greatest soccer team in the world by MFS Correspondent Daniel Wakefield Pasley during Etapa 4 of the 2015 Tour de San Luis.
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Balneario La Hoya currently has a score of 45% on Trip Advisor, ranked #15 of 17 on the list of attractions in San Luis with a 3.5/5 stars rating.
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★ ★ ★ ★ ★ "Um nice place to relax! . Nice weather and beautiful scenery. Superb place to enjoy the water."—Lautaro L. (Google Translate)
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★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ "A very typical of the area. Go the locals, many people ... not enjoyed much ... Little place to rest"—Luciano P. (Google Translate)
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★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ "everything is very dirty, full of trash people will not have ecological consiencia, encontras of diapers pet bottles everywhere, pity, that place to walk from the holla to the site of the volcano was very nice to walk, which will be, hopefully improve"—Diego R. (Google Translate)
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VAlong the Course
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Johns Hopkins University researchers conducted a study which supports the idea that heartburn in pregnant mothers is correlated with above-average amounts of baby hair.
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466,796 Ford Falcons were produced for the Argentina market during its lifespan of 1962 to 1991.
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Three Twitter Geologists (holler @themightymimi, @JimiNYCX, @AnaisNinja) all agree that the pictured rock is most likely gneiss, one of the principal metamorphic rocks found on Earth. As we all know, gneiss is usually medium- to coarse-foliated and is largely recrystallized but does not carry large quantities of micas, chlorite or other platy minerals.
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VISan Luis: Finish
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We were interviewed by Radio Familia FM 101.5, Villa Mercedes.
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EN TODO MOMENTO
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Remember earlier when MFS suggested that the Egyptians built the Robert Smithson walls in Etapa 4, and you guys all probably laughed and smirked and thought "Gosh, MFS thinks the Egyptians were in Argentina? What a bunch of dummies." Well think again, buster, cause look what MFS found. That right there is an obelisk, and when you Google "obelisk" the top result is Wikipedia and what do you know?, the first line on that Google result is "Obelisks were prominent in the architecture of the ancient Egyptians, who placed them in pairs at the entrance of temples."
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2015 Tour de San Luis Champion: Best Dressed Category.
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"MOVETE TURRA!!" (“Move it bitch!”—Emiliano Translate) #patriarchy
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Two Argentine #winners in one photo.
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Gracias, policía.
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"Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!" "Botella!!!!"
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VIIBonus Fan Club Supplement: Kiel Reijnen, Ambassador of Good Will & Good Looks
Kiel Reijnen, AOGWAGL
For more information on Kiel Riejnen, AOGWAGL, please visit our initial Fan Club interview
01 S M I L E !
02 "No, take another, you have to point at the feather."
03 #unitedbootycare
04 Kiel just rode his bike like four thousand miles in the blazing sun, but Ambassadors have a job to do, you know?
05 Kiel also somehow has better hair than all of these people.
06 #showsomeskin
07 Kiel is his own podium girl.
08 He's admirable yet approachable.
09 And he's GREAT with kids.
10 Our Lady of Luján is one of the most popular images of the Virgin Mary in South America, dating back to the 16th century. Among the Popes who have honored Our Lady of Luján are Clement XI, Clement XIV, Pius VI, Pius IX, Leo XIII, Pius XI, Pius XII, and John Paul II.
VIIIMFS x ZZK = LIFE IS RHYTHM

 

Mix #7: Warm it Down

“ZZK Records is music to move to, it's the future sound of Latin America. Essentially the label was born out of a weekly dance club, so there's always been an element of movement to the music we put out. What better way to get on your bike and ride, get on your feet and walk or run, or put your dancing shoes on and shake, than these daily playlists, straight from Argentina?”Grant C. Dull, ZZK Records
    Warm it Down
  • 1 Gevgelis, Karpis & Papas Deropolitissa (Chance via Circuito Remix)
  • 2 Axel Krygier Cumbia Tucumana
  • 3 El Trip Slector Coombia de Piano Triste
  • 4 El Remolon Punching Ball
  • 5 Nate Mars Ziraffa
  • 6 Amadou & Mariam Dogou Badia (Chancha via Circuito Remix)
  • 7 La Yegros Vagar
  • 8 Barrio Lindo & El Buho feat. Lucila Dominguez Marri Yanada
  • 9 Quimey Nequen
IX¡Adios!
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