Tour de San Luis: Día Tres
road-racing

Tour de San Luis: Día Tres

Wednesday - January 21, 2015 - Concarán

Apparently the Team Selection of Cuba is trading Cuban Cigars for water bottles, used sneakers, and Rock & Roll compact discs.

RACE BIBLE
Start
Concarán
Finish
Juana Koslay
Length
176.3 km
KOMs
N/A
Sprints
Plaza (100.9km), Circuito Heladería (153.9km)
WEATHER
with afternoon humidity
MFS Team
Daniel Wakefield Pasley, Emiliano Granado, Keiran Best
Acommodations
Hotel Huarpes Rooms 128 & 132
Today's HACU Count
7; 2 at breakfast, 4 at snacks, 1 at dinner in the form of a salad.
Objectives

Make the start of the race before the race starts. This objective was decided on at 4:37 AM the previous night/morning. Based on the Manual Tecnico Map and Time Split Chart we determined it was impossible to see the race anywhere on the actual course, as well as the finish. And we needed the finish, because the finish in San Luis, it was reasoned, would be well spectated. This was especially important on a day like today, when the course avoided anything and everything made after the start of the Cenozoic Era. Things made before the start of the Cenozoic Era include (so things ON the course): Grass, Coal Beds, Insects. Things made after the start of the Cenozoic Era include (so things NOT on the course): Mammals, Terror Birds, Gas Stations, Sneakers, Food, Wifi, Culture, Language, Electrical Outlets.

Manual Tecnico Course Description (verbatim)

From Plaza Concarán will start the third stage, to be played on Wednesday 21 January.The same will happen for Tilisarao, Naschel, La Toma, perilago Saladilla Volcano, Potrero de los Funes, The Chakras, reaching the New Bus Station San Luis, to turn and finish in the Hospital de Juana Koslay. They will be 176.3 kms with 2 Goals Sprint.

Manual Tecnico Course Description (translated)

Get on the freeway in Concarán, ride 180 kilometers through a completely featureless and thoroughly flat soybean field devoid of animals and humanity, while all the time being exposed to the wind and the sun, then get off the freeway in the suburbs of San Luis. Regarding the promise of Chakras; we looked where the Race Organizers told us to, between the Funes and the New Bus Station, and found nothing. No Chakras, no auras, no vortexes, nothing, nada, cat-butt, just a Water World-like flotilla made from empty 2-litre plastic bottles featuring a path that runs through the flotillas center leading to an altar or shrine on which a diorama sits in the middle of a figurine gaucho called Gil, pronounced heel. More on that later.

WiFi Fuerza

Today’s report was produced and completed in the lobby of the Vista Suites Spa & Golf because it’s only a mile from Hotel Huarpes, and the internet here is connected to the internet. It’s also well lit, there is adequate seating and the atmosphere is vibrant and inspired due in large part, you have to figure, to the hustle and bustle of the post-race Race Spectacle doing it’s thing—eating, drinking, blogging, posting, reporting, mingling, massaging, coming, going, browsing, talking, laughing, etc. Really, the only problem or hazard of working in the Vista Suites Spa & Golf and not Hotel Huarpes is Colognation: The act of being overwhelmed by cologne coming off of the body, like jet-wash, of another. A phenomenon that is common when in the proximity of professional athletes. That’s never been a problem at the HH because nobody is staying there, and if they were, they wouldn’t be the cologne type, let alone a professional anything. We have two networks to choose from here:

  • NETWORK: SanLuis_Wifi (The city of San Luis Public Wifi) PASS: N/A RATING (1-10): 7.5
  • NETWORK: Prensa (The official Tour San Luis Press Wifi) PASS: sanluisavanza RATING (1-10): 8.3
Today's Breakthrough

Emiliano secured for Team Manaul for Speed a mid-race Feed Zone Food Court situation including but not limited to Egg and Cheese sandwiches with the crusts cut off and hydration units.

Today's Race Rumor

Apparently the Team Selection of Cuba is trading Cuban Cigars for water bottles, used sneakers, and Rock & Roll compact discs.

IToday’s Letter to the Editor
Dear Manual for Speed

As a tradition in the Tour of San Luis, the Governor will have a meeting with journalist from the international media. Therefore, we would like to invite you to share a dinner this Thursday with the man responsible of the organization of the Tour of San Luis and the Governor of the Province, Mr. Claudio Poggi. The dinner will be held on Thursday 22nd at 11.30pm in the restaurant “El Cruce”. We also inform you through this e-mail that the tranfers for the journalists will be available from 10pm in the Vista Hotel. We expect your attendance and we require confirmation of attendance through an e-mail.

Tour de San Luis
IIAlex Howes Tour Down Under Dream Log, Night #2
“Someone got married. We took wedding photos in a supermarket then ventured to the bayou. The water came up a risin' and we was infested by mini mutant alligators. They were officially classified as an invasive species. They got into the washing machine. A few of us fixed a helicopter and spent the afternoon shooting mutant alligators with a machine gun from the helicopter. I wasn't wearing socks. It was fun but I sunburned my eyelids.”Alex Howes
IIIA List of Various Observations Made by the MFS Team Throughout Día Tres
  1. According to Google Maps there are no towns in Argentina except for the big ones you already know about. Surprisingly, it might be true.
  2. Apparently it’s customary to spectate a bicycle race from a standing position in the bottom of a ditch or culvert.
  3. Argentines are World Class Picnickers. First, have a Renault 12 or similar. Second, have friends and/or a family. Third pull-off any road, anywhere, anytime the mood strikes you, drive into the abundant adjacent nature strip, and park in the shade next to a tree. Fourth, stand/sit/lie in the grass next to your car. Listen to music. Talk. Nap. Whatever, because it’s your picnic.
  4. If you walk into a hotel eating area at 12:30 PM and order six cortado grandes, drink five of them one after another, bam bam bam like whisky shots, pour the sixth one into a threadbare paper llevar cup produced from your pocket, pay the check, and walk out with an order of ham and cheese tostadas in your hands, all in less than ten minutes, they WILL look at you funny.
  5. It’s possible to drive somebody’s cousin’s Fiat Palio 177 km/h down a freeway, it’s just maybe not recommended. Especially in windy conditions and through turns.
  6. “Sticker Slapping” is when the driver of a vehicle equipped with an official race sticker is a dick to the driver of a non-sticker equipped vehicle in and around race related traffic, congestion, blockades, parking scenarios, etc.  Applicable even when the sticker-equipped driver has nothing to gain from passing, overtaking, blocking, etc., the non-sticker-equipped driver. It’s about privilege and entitlement and not, logic or gain. It’s related to “sport privileging.”
  7. The Gauchito Gil (literally “Little Gaucho Gil”) is a legendary character of Argentina’s popular culture. His full name was Antonio Mamerto Gil Núñez and he was allegedly born in the area of Pay Ubre, nowadays Mercedes, Corrientes, possibly in the 1840s, and died on 8 January 1878. He is regarded as the most prominent gaucho saint in Argentina. Popular accounts vary, but in broad terms the legend tells that Antonio Gil was a farmworker and that a wealthy widow fell in love and/or had an affair with him. When her brothers and the head of the police (who was also in love with the widow) found out about their relationship, they accused him of robbery and tried to kill him. He enlisted in the army to escape them. In the army, he fought against the Paraguayan army. Finally, he could come back to his village as a hero. But, when he arrived at his village, he was forced to return to the army to fight in the Argentine Civil War. It was a brother versus brother war and “Gauchito” Gil was tired of fighting. Therefore, he decided to desert. During this time he became an outlaw and acquired a reputation as a Robin Hood figure, for his efforts to protect and help the needy. In the end the policemen caught him in the forest. They tortured him and hung him from his feet on an algarrobo tree. When a policeman was going to kill him, “Gauchito” Gil said to him: “Your son is very ill. If you pray and beg me to save your child, I promise you that he will live. If not, he will die”. Then the policeman killed “Gauchito” Gil by cutting his throat. That was January 8, 1878. When the policemen came back to his village, the one who had killed “Gauchito” Gil learned that his child was in fact very ill. Very frightened, the policeman prayed to “Gauchito” Gil for his son. And afterwards, his son got better. Legend has it that “Gauchito” Gil had healed his murderer’s son.”Gauchito” Gil is thought to be a folk saint for many people of the provinces of Formosa, Corrientes, Chaco, the north of Santa Fe and even the province of Buenos Aires. One can spot smaller shrines of Gauchito Gil on roadsides throughout Argentina. Great pilgrimages are organised to the sanctuary (located about 8 km from the city of Mercedes) to ask to the saint for favours. Moreover, each January 8 (date of Gil’s death), there is a celebration honoring “Gauchito” Gil. There, the people dance, sing and drink, and also play folklorical sports as tanning horses, bulls and others animals.
  8. Trash-filled shrines to an unofficial saint known for her endless breast milk dot the highways of Argentina. Drivers on the highways and backroads of the San Juan region of Argentina are protected by the grace of folk saint Difunta Correa, whose crude roadside shrines are surrounded by everything from piles of water bottles to toy cars, asking for remarkably specific types of grace from the holy woman’s endless teat. According to legend, Deolinda Correa was a soldier’s wife who, in the first half of the 19th century, set out to find her sick husband, who had been abandoned by his unit. Carrying her newborn child, Correa set out into the desert to track down her love, but tragically Correa soon ran out of water and supplies, and perished in the harsh San Juan climate. As the story goes, when cattle drivers found the woman days later, she was deceased, but her newborn baby was still suckling from Correa’s seemingly fathomless breast. In death, the miraculous woman was renamed Difunta Correa (deceased Correa) and she was buried atop a hill in what is now known as the town of Vallecito. Originally the grave was marked with a simple cross but as word of the wondrous woman spread, worshippers began leaving effigies of specific blessings they were requesting and soon a shrine was erected over the gravesite with a life-size statue of the Difunta Correa, complete with child still at her breast. As the years passed and her cult of believers grew, more and more small shrines were built surrounding the hill, each with a specific theme. One of the shrines is surrounded by hundreds of small, hand-crafted houses asking that the saint bless their home with abundance, while another is surrounded by wedding dresses left there by women wishing for blessings in love. Car registrations and, more than anything else, empty water bottles are also popular offerings, the empty water bottles signifying a replenishment of the holy breast milk. While the largest concentration of these sanctuaries are located in Vallecito (the town actually sprung up thanks to the popularity of the shrine), Difunta Correa has developed a reputation as a patron saint of travelers and small shrines to her grace can be seen dotting the highways all across Argentina. Difunta Correa is not recognized by the Catholic church as an official saint, but you would never be able to tell by her countless sanctuaries.
  9. No seat belts, no stop signs, no lights, one way streets, can text—no problem.
  10. Argentina has the safest, cleanest, most comfortable, most pleasant nationwide network of Porta Potties in the world. After each use, a full-time fully dedicated attendant cleans the unit and manages the expendables such as soap and toilet paper.
  11. Following the finish Manual for Speed witnessed a “journalist” live interviewing (radio?) Joe Dombrowski against his will and in Spanish. MFS correspondent Emiliano Granado was able to translate the interview: “And there you have it from a German that rides on the German National Team.”
  12. The collective Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) of the Peloton was on the lower end of the register. Lets call it a 3/10. Based on anecdotal evidence collected in the field the low PMA situation was due to an inordinate amount of crashing in the race and the high crime rate (mostly petty theft of water bottles and impersonating a Proffesional Cyclist) in the finish area.
IVConcarán
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"Paty te quiero"
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"My cellphone is my best friend, its my lifeline to the outside world."—Carrie Underwood, winner of the 4th season of American Idol.
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ENVY: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.
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#chiller
VA Typology of Roads in San Luis
"Las Carreteras"
Roads in San Luis come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and materials. They are also most often not on any form of internet-based electronic map.
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VIAlong the Course
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#chiller
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"Painting fruit tree trunks with white latex paint can prevent the bark from splitting and cracking off. Splitting can happen when the tree is exposed to freezing evening temperatures, followed by a daytime thawing."
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Resulting in a moment of deep reflection and consideration throughout the peloton.
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VIIA Typology of Law Enforcement Officials Standing by Roads in San Luis
La Policía
Agents of the state/municipality in San Luis seem to belong at least four dozen separate agencies.
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VIIIJuana Koslay
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"Yerba mate makes me fly so fuckin nice." Dr. Gonz
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"Cherry Picker" according to urbandictionary.com: 1) Person who choses easy tasks over challenging ones. "You chose to update the booklets rather than take on the big Hong Kong project? You are such a cherry picker!" 2) Man who seduces young virgins."You're dating another Freshman English major? You are such a cherry picker!"
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Laura Mesegur is a Spanish cycling journalist. She is a reporter for @Eurosport and a writer for @RevistaPedalier and she does communications at @Mallorca312 & @CityMTB. She currently has 26.4 thousand twitter followers. We met after a twitter exchange that started with this tweet.
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"Laura, we have to do a Fansies with you." "What's that?" "It's awesome."
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"Americans are really obsessed with their teeth being white and straight, aren't they? I saw this little girl the other day with one of those whole head braces. Elastic all the way around! How traumatizing for a child to have to wear one of those! You look like a monster."—Kate Moss
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IXMFS x ZZK = LIFE IS RHYTHM

 

Mix #3: Groove into Low Gear

 

“ZZK Records is music to move to, it's the future sound of Latin America. Essentially the label was born out of a weekly dance club, so there's always been an element of movement to the music we put out. What better way to get on your bike and ride, get on your feet and walk or run, or put your dancing shoes on and shake, than these daily playlists, straight from Argentina?”Grant C. Dull, ZZK Records
    Groove into Low Gear
  • 1 La Yegros Viene de Mi (Captain Planet Remix)
  • 2 Poirier Siempre Mas Pesa'o feat. Boogat & Madhi
  • 3 Los Mirlos Chinito en Onda (Dengue Dengue Dengue Remix)
  • 4 El Remolon La Vibra (feat Miss Bolivia)
  • 5 Los Rakas Dun Dun (Frikstailers Remix)
  • 6 Uproot Andy Worldwide Dembow feat. Pablo Piddy
  • 7 Frikstailers Omeprazol
  • 8 Thornato Gaita Gaita
Tour de San Luis: Día Tres SHARE Facebook Twitter
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