2014 Tour of Utah: Stage 05
road-racing

2014 Tour of Utah: Stage 05

Friday - August 8, 2014 - Evanston, WY

It IS possible to take a selfie of yourself + the peloton from the back of a moving motorcycle if you really, really want to and if you're willing to risk damaging all kinds of shit like your phone and your body and your real camera and maybe the moto driver and a small portion of the peloton.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
RACE BIBLE
Sprints
Bear River, Kamas
KOMs
Mt. Baldy Pass
Finish
Kamas, UT
Team
Daniel Wakefield Pasley Ian Gabriel "An Unfair Advantage" Marshall
Today's Course Highlight

A four mile dirt section of road less than 10 miles from the finish.

Today's Best Anonymous Quote #1

“That driver for Garmin must be on the “developmental” team because he gets called-out on the radio every 30 seconds for his bad driving.”—An official that will remain nameless for obvious reasons.

Today's Best Anonymous Quote #2

“Just incredible, just really fucking incredible.”—It came from the middle of the Peloton at roughly mile 67.

Today's Best Text

“There are five people, two volunteers and three spectators, and two sheep at the Sprint Line in Bear River. Hurry up and get here the sheep look bored and I think they’re about to bounce.”—Ian “An Unfair Advantage” Marshall

Today's Best Signage

“You do the pickin’ let your tongue do the lickin.”—The Scoop Ice Cream Parlor on 944 Main in downtown Evanston, Wyoming.

Today's Best Case of Mistaken Identity

Chris Case from Velonews accused Manual For Speed of being John Watson from the Radavist (formerly Prolly Is Not Probably). That brings the tally up to 57 times in the last two years. Also,

Today's Best T-shirt Idea

No graphics; it just reads across the front in big, black, bold letters (I’m thinking Impact or maybe American Typewriter), “I am not John “Prolly” Watson.”

Today's Best Accidental Encounter

Near the start line I photographed a strange woman’s feet; the feet, it turns out, belong to Stephanie Shulman. The Stephanie Shulman who manages Pro Cyclist Joshua Berry. Written on the back of Stephanie’s business card are the words WILL BUY PHOTOS! Dear Stephanie, thanks for the business card and the business opportunity. It’s currently 3:09 AM in the morning and I’m still not done editing photographs, also, I still have some writing to do, which is what I’m literally doing right now, point is, I didn’t see any photographs of Joshua that were obviously images you would want, I’ll try again tomorrow. What are we talking about here anyway? Two, three hundred bucks a pop, or a large pizza or…?, let’s discuss.

Today's Best Attributable Quote

“I want an Eagle, like an Eagle that would ride with me and feed me when I’m hungry. Maybe the Eagle would just drop dead rabbits on the road for me to collect and eat, or maybe the Eagle would fly down to me in the Feed Zones and just hand the food over like a swanny or water bottle hand-up. I wonder if that would intimidate the group though?”—Kiel Reijnen, United Health Care.

Today's Second Best Attributable Quote

“Town? Hahahahahhhahahha. Town! There’s no town around here. Town. Hahahahhahaha.”—A Highway Patrolman at the bottom of the very long, very unpopulated Mt. Baldy climb responding to my question regarding the whereabouts of a town.

Today's Third Best Attributable Quote

“Nice Vest!!!!!”—shouted Phil Gaimon as he rode past me halfway up Mt. Baldy. One can only assume he was talking about my bright blue polyester (also borrowed, and also very well used) Moto Vest.

Fourth Best Attributable Quote:

“I’ve noticed over the years that when it hails in these mountains there’s bound to be lightning too. Of course I only spend half the year here in Wyoming. The rest of the year I live in northern Thailand in an area called Chiang Mai. I watch the pelotons on British TV there all the time.”—A Backcountry Forest Service Ranger we met near the top of Mt Baldy. I failed to get his name but I like to think of him as Randall, or maybe Chuck.

IToday's Update

Today Manual For Speed recieved our first de facto “letter to the editor” regarding advice with respect to cycling journalism. Two things: 1.) Clearly this unsolicited-but-inaugural-even-if-accidentally-so letter is the first of a new column we’re calling Dear Speed. 2.) Because Manual for Speed was on the back of a motorcycle ALL DAY we have very little to write about other than:

 

  1. It IS possible to take a selfie of yourself + the peloton from the back of a moving motorcycle if you really, really want to and if you’re willing to risk damaging all kinds of shit like your phone and your body and your real camera and maybe the moto driver and a small portion of the peloton.
  2. You are not allowed to ride the motorcycle facing backwards, even if you ask nicely.
  3. Almost without exception, every photo you take of the people/places/things you pass on the side of the road while travelling at 20+ miles an hour suck. Basically drive-by photographs never turn out and I should just stop taking them all together but sometimes like when you see a girl sitting on a BMX bike in a gravel turn-out casually feeding what is clearly a “pet” llama wearing a pink bow tie, you have to try.
  4. Cotton really did try to kill me today, either that or it’s true: you always pack a rain jacket when traveling by motorcycle through the Rocky Mountains.
  5. Riding around the Unitas in a borrowed helmet (thanks Nate!, thanks Nate’s friend!) and a pair of borrowed jeans (thanks Ian Marshall of Castelli Cycling!) while sitting for five hours on what is effectively a borrowed seat on the back of an expensive high performance European motorcycle (thanks Moto driver!) will leave you feeling dirty, real dirty.

 

And that’s about it. Okay so, because Manual for Speed spent the day on the back of the motorcycle all day and therefore has nothing really to report about, publishing a letter about cycling journalism AS cycling journalism makes lots of Meta Sense.

IIDear Speed

from: Preston Yardley <*****@gmail.com> to: daniel@manualforspeed.com
date: Fri, Aug 8, 2014 at 3:25 PM subject: Information at tour of utah

 

Dear Manual for Speed,

 

I’m an avid cyclist at Utah Valley University. I was instrumental on assisting our team to the conference cyclocross championships. I also assisted our team to in taking the road conference champion team classification. I’m an also aspiring journalist, and I would like to become a cycling reporter. I am on the newspaper department at Utah Valley University. This is where I had my first experience taking photos of sporting events. Afterwords I would personally report on our cycling team. There seemed to be a lack of interest on covering cycling events. UVU’s college cycling had a lot of astonishing accomplishments in past years. Which only fueled my passion for reporting cycling events more? It also gave me an insight on a career. I have a passion for; taking photos, riding and racing my bike, and interviewing professional cyclists around the world.

 

As I looked into cycling journalism I came across Manual for Speed. I really love what you are doing as a journalism team. I do however a few questions have and seek advice from you. As being a journalist in cycling please share with me on how it can be rewarding and what are some of the drawbacks? I am excited starting this new chapter in my life. What guidance could you give me to enhance my journalism?

 

I am really excited about having the Tour of Utah in my back yard. It is exhilarating, but reporting on events is a way to get closer and deeper into the action of cycling. That is why I figured as a sports photographer on newspaper I wanted to dive into the journalism aspect of cycling. Being a journalist and sharing these events with others makes cycling more gratifying.

Will you be at the tour of utah. I would love to visit with you about journalism and cycling. I will be wearing a Garmin manual for speed shirt.

 

Thanks for your Time Manual for Speed,
Preston Yardley

Dear Preston

First of all, thank you for the letter and your questions, and for prompting us to create a new column we’re calling Dear Speed. How funny is that?, your letter to us about cycling journalism has directly led to the creation of cycling journalism! Being read or viewed, or “consumed” is very rewarding. It’s a pretty linear proposition right, if people care about your point of view, or your opinions, or your analysis, or whatever form your contribution to cycling journalism takes, it’s rewarding.

 

Also, reporting on cycling requires that you follow racing and attend races, those experiences give you a deeper appreciation and understanding of the sport. Especially if you’re there with the intention to study and observe and contemplate and interact with the sport from every angle and on every surface. That deeper appreciation and understanding is very rewarding.

 

The drawbacks depend on who you are and what your angle is and what your goals are. For most (but not us because we have An Unfair Advantage, thanks Castelli!), the largest drawback to cycling journalism is that it pays, if it pays at all, really poorly. Also, it’s very competitive. Which is, based on the fact that it pays poorly, counter-intuitive, but whatever, it is in fact competitive. The best single piece of advice we can give you is this: find a move. You got to have a move. Your move should reflect your talents, inclinations, connections, context, desires, etc. Your move is your Point of View and your Modus Operandi and everything else combined.

 

Yes, I will be at the start! Just text me and we can connect, I’d be happy to help you if I can. I will be wearing a Manual for Speed t-shirt, FlyKnits and some Oakley Blades, #disruptive.

 

—Daniel Wakefield Pasley, Manual for Speed
IIIPre-Race
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There are ten commercial peach orchards in Utah.
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Professional auto detailers recommend that you only use one of two things to clean and/or wax the wheels on your car: synthetic and natural sea sponges. Synthetic sponges are typically cut or formed into blocks. Although they are much cheaper, they are also a lot more likely to scratch your wheels.
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In zoology, camouflage was first mentioned by Aristotle who wrote about the color-changing abilities of cephalopods.
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Jelly Belly produces 37 million pounds (17,000 tons) of candy each year.
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Cigars come in different shapes and sizes, including: parejo, pyramid, torpedo, perfecto, and presidente.
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According to color psychology, the meaning of the fuchsia is: intuitive and insightful, showing tenderness and kindness with its empathy and sensitivity.
IVOn the Course
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Slang terminology used by members of the tattoo industry include: Carving - as in carving out some PHAT lines; Grinding - As in, "grind out a tribal"; Kickin' it Into Third - picking up the speed on the fill cause they know you can handle it; Airbrushing - when the ink sprays all over your pants; Tight - as in phat, tight tattoo work.
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Bush: formed in London in 1992 shortly after vocalist/guitarist Gavin Rossdale and guitarist Nigel Pulsford met.
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Walkie talkie code: 10-1 = Receiving poorly | 10-2 = Receiving well | 10-3 = Stop transmitting | 10-4 = Message received | 10-5 = Relay message to ___ | 10-6 = Busy, please stand by | 10-7 = Out of service, leaving the air | 10-8 = In service, subject to call | 10-9 = Repeat message
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Princess Merida of DunBroch is the main character of Disney/Pixar's 2012 film Brave.
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A musette is a bag that holds a cyclist's food rations. A musette de cour is a musical instrument in the bagpipe family.
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Three is approximately π (actually closer to 3.14159) when doing rapid engineering guesses or estimates. The same is true if one wants a rough-and-ready estimate of e, which is actually approximately 2.71828.
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Ponchos have been used by the Native American peoples of the Andes since pre-Hispanic times.
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Though there are differing accounts regarding the invention of the white board and dry-erase markers, it's commonly believed that they were invented by Martin Heit, a photographer and Korean war veteran.
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Slang terms for mustache include: cookie duster, crustache, face lace, grass grin, lady tickler, lip foliage, tea strainer, womb broom and bristle baton.
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VPost-Race
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As a hand gesture, "throwing the horns" originated with the Gautama Buddha to symbolize the expulsion of demons and removal of obstacles like sickness or negative thoughts.
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New To You in Kamas, Utah has only one visitor check in on Foursquare.
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Step-and-repeat: Relating to, or employing a method in which successive exposures of a single image are made on a printing surface that is being prepared for gang printing .
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According to Wikipedia, "chimping" means: a colloquial term used in digital photography to describe the habit of checking every photo on the camera display (LCD) immediately after capture.
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Edge Homes hosted their customer appreciation night on August 8, 2014. If you attended the event, you can tag your photos with: #EDGEmovieinthepark
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Tom Danielson – Height: 1.77 m (5 ft 10 in) | Weight: 59 kg (9 st, 4 lb)
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